Free Fall
[noun]
any notion of the body where weight is the only force acting upon it.
"How are you feeling?" my answer to that question would be really simple. Free fall. No, I'm not "fine" saying I'm fine would be lying wouldn't it? I feel nothing but the weight of my fears. Fear of heights, fear of snakes, fear of bears, fear of falling, fear of the dark, fear of being replaced, fear of being alone, fear of not being enough and the mere fear of having fear itself. I feel that the weight of my fears are the only thing I feel right now. A few days ago, I got into a fight with my dad. I felt like I was never enough for him. And that no matter how hard I tried, I was only the mistake. The unforgivable, unforgettable, unlovable mistake. I snapped. I broke down. I really tried being stronger but I had failed. Again. I felt like shit. Like I didn't have anything to do with my life. But I had an idea. What if fear is supposed to be the thing that keeps you going? What if fear wasn't supposed to bring you down but up? What if free fall was actually something that's okay? So many what ifs had come to mind and I just had to share it. Fear is not the absence of bravery it is merely over thinking something that matters to you. So if you're afraid of something really big? Do some thing about it. Don't wait for that something to just happen. And when in doubt? Take the free fall. You'll never know what you'll get if you don't try right?